Every photo you see of
Colonel Jack Hays looks
as though he shared an apartment
w/ a mummy suffering from
tired, exhausted, cranky,
black hair— like an agitated porcupine—
simply slicked back in the morning
& no more thought to it.
In fact, this founding father
of the Texas Rangers was just
railroad spike tough.
His face, a face of stern ancestor,
It’s said he fought off
a 100 attacking Comanches
armed only w/ his Colt pistols
& one Winchester rifle.
Later on, during The Mexican War—
when the Texas Rangers helped
Zachary Taylor— Colonel Hays
led a regiment against
a superior Mexican division.
Hays rode his horse ahead
of his men & challenged, in
clear, concise Spanish,
the Mexican commander
to a saber duel.
Hays’ men thought he lost it:
“He was murderous with a pistol
but weak with a saber.”
The Mexican officer agreed to the duel
& came charging w/ his saber lowered
& his men rode close behind him.
Hays dropped his saber, pulled his Colt,
then shot the Mexican down.
He told his men,
“Here they come boys!
Give em hell!”
You got a less active job than
the one before.
You went from a busy restaurant—
always on your feet, waiting on customers,
making sandwiches, rushing here,
going there— to a sedentary office job,
typing memos, returning phone calls,
Your big lunches remained
the same, however, during the job transition,
& subsequently you gained weight.
After a few months at the office,
you discovered the slabs of
back fat I tried to ignore.
You asked me, w/ great worry,
if I had seen the clumps before.
Of course I said no.